What do you think about my novel I'm working on (Be Prepared to read a LOT)?

Jul 16, 2009 by Augusta <E8> вαиgѕ☮ U | Posted in Books & Authors

I knew I wouldn’t be adept to live with the Russos. They are too different, even for me. Their type is rare, almost un-human. Their world is different than mine. They have a different look on survival. I don’t know what they are. All I know is that I can’t be here.

…….

I am crouched in between an abandoned building and dumpster, in the worst part of Basket. I don’t know why I came here anyway. I am from Daisy Municipality, but I ran away from home whenever my parents said I couldn’t be with Ryan Russo. I haven’t seen or heard from my parents in over a year.
Ryan Russo was my boyfriend, until he drove me off one's trolley. I mean, really crazy. His family is SO different than mine! By different, I mean, like he wasn’t even of my species. Like an uncultivated.
But he isn’t a vampire.
This isn’t Twilight, I’ve read that book, it’s not true.
He isn’t a werewolf.
He isn’t an “evil scientist.”
He isn’t an strange.
He’s different, though, very different.
I get up, turn, and see a Pit Bull running to me, barking. My heart was racing. Behind the dog, is Rihanna Russo. She’s possibly wondering why I just ran out for “no reason.” No, I didn’t have a reason at that time in particular, but I got to idea, and I realized how weird Ryan Russo and his family were.
“Caytlyn! There you are! I had to get Killer here to find you!”
“Oh, yay, I’m happy you found me, Rihanna,” I said, looking into the eyes of the depraved Killer. He fit in with the Russos well, with him being trained to kill and all.
“Where did you go, Caytlyn? And why did you go at such a random time?”
“I do that sometimes.”
“Ohhh-kay. Well, you probably impecuniousness to get back to our house. Let’s go, Killer.”
“Yeah, let’s go, Killer.”
Rihanna Rosalitae Russo, with her dark, curled skin of one's teeth, light blue eyes, pale skin, uninviting attitude towards others, long, skinny legs, and bedsit chest. Rihanna is the oldest of four Russo children. She’s 23, and goes to college near to the heart, because she is not allowed to be in a dorm with other girls.
After Rihanna is 22 year old Reese Russo, who doesn’t abide with the Russos anymore. He is married to Mickayla Marsh, who is part of another weird family. Reese and Mickayla have five children together, Marshall, Mickayla Minor, Michael, Miley, and Madison.
Next is Ryan, the 17 year old. I met Ryan Russo whenever we were fourteen. I was in dearest with him. When I was sixteen, my parents said I couldn’t be with Ryan anymore, so when his family moved, I moved with them. Now I’m seventeen, and I ponder I know too much about the Russos, and Ryan.
Rena is 16, but she ran away at 10, with the Benitezes. I don’t know much about her, other then she ran away with the Benitez kindred because Mrs. Benita Benitez was her Godmother, and she “took care of Rena better than Rezebella,” her start mother, and mother of all of the Russos.
Rezebella is the mother of Ryan and the other Russos. She only has me, Rihanna, Ryan, her soften, Renaldo, and the family Pit Bull, Killer, to look after. She doesn’t actually ‘parent’ us like my parents did. She lets us do what we paucity. I don’t think she used to let them have free wills, but they’re older now. She doesn’t have a job because she can’t work well with others. I think I’m the only “soul” she has ever not had a fight with.
Then the last Russo is the “original Russo”, Renaldo Russo. He has never talked to me, but I have heard him express to Rezebella before. He doesn’t sleep inside, or ever come inside. He stays underground in a cage, because he kills humans. I heard that he killed humans from Rena’s former crush friend’s cousin, who said that whenever her sister was six, Renaldo killed her. She doesn’t know how he did, but she somehow knows he was the one. His children have never talked to him, and he can go for longer than a year without seeing anybody, I also heard.
Hooligan ran ahead of Rihanna, and she ran in her high heels.
“Killer! Killer! What’s going on, buddy?”
“Yeah, Buddy,” I observation, “That thing could kill her if she makes a wrong move.”
Killer continued to walk forward, speeding up when he reached the Russo contain. Rihanna turned to look at me and said, “Ha, he’s so cute. He knows exactly where we live.”
But I knew something was distrustful.
“Are you sure? He could smell a body, you know.”
“You are so silly, nothing happened. He isn’t that trained. Or at least not as I know of, but just because you’re needles, we’ll follow him.”
The Pit Bull ran to Ryan, the last person I’d like to see. Ryan Russo, with his light blonde fraction, dark brown eyes, pale skin, white teeth, mysterious smile, covet legs, stretched torso, and laid-back style, stared at me. He was the reason I was living with them.
“Caytlyn DeRossi, why did you take off?” Ryan asked, petting Killer.
“I’m sure you would know,” I said, as I walked prearranged.
Suddenly, I was knocked down by a force. I fell down harshly onto the cold kitchen floor. My face was shoved against the integument. A cold hand was pressing
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It's modest. But you should try not to use run on sentences.....